PLATELL’S PEOPLE: Plastic surgery is no answer to life’s woes, Britt

Amanda Platell for The Day-to-day Mail

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A huge star in her mid-40s, Britt Ekland was unrecognisable from the woman she is today, after years of disastrous cosmetic surgery

A huge star in her mid-40s, Britt Ekland was unrecognisable from the woman she is today, after years of disastrous cosmetic surgery

Thirty years ago, once I interviewed Britt Ekland, she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever met.

A huge star in her mid-40s, she was unrecognisable from the woman she is today, after years of disastrous cosmetic surgery.

The Swedish actress, now 73, admits the procedures she had in her 50s ruined her looks. And, arguably, her career.

‘I did a terrible thing,’ she said. ‘They put a lot of stuff in my lips and he [the surgeon] destroyed my face. I can easily see the pictures of myself on the internet and how gorgeous I was, yet at the time I didn’t see it.’

Like several women worried about ageing, Britt believed a little cosmetic procedure here and there would certainly make her feel good about herself and transform her life.

I’m ashamed to say I know how she felt.

I have actually written prior to about how I’ve had non-invasive procedures of one type or one more over the past decade — treatments such as ultrasound facelifts, for example.

But recently, I decided to take it a step further.

I’d had a rough year along with illness, personal upheaval and my mother in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s, so to make myself feel better, last Thursday I made an appointment along with a leading cosmetic surgeon. I’d had surgery a few years ago for cancer on my eyelid, and I believed he could job a bit of magic on the scars.

I required a quick fix — something to make me feel much better about myself and my life.

The surgeon inspected my face through his binocular glasses, then gave me a hand mirror and told me to smile in to it.

‘Why are you here?’ he asked. ‘Consider that wonderful smile, laughter lines and all. That’s exactly what individuals see, yet it’s not exactly what you see.

‘In years to come, we’ll look spine in disbelief at this age once women became addicted to surgery.

‘A little tuck here, a nip there and every year they’re spine for more, thinking it’s the solution to every little thing — a broken heart, difficult kids, a parent’s death, a messy divorce.

‘Let me tell you that, in most cases, cosmetic surgery isn’t the answer to anything.’

The Swedish actress, now 73, admits the procedures she had in her 50s ruined her looks. And, arguably, her career

The Swedish actress, now 73, admits the procedures she had in her 50s ruined her looks. And, arguably, her career

His wise words persuaded me not to join the 51,000 individuals in Britain that have actually invasive cosmetic procedures each year as portion of a booming £3 billion industry (and that doesn’t include the several thousands that travel abroad for cheap, dodgy facelifts, which often result in disasters).

As for Britt, the former Bond girl’s movie roles dried up years ago, and she now lives alone along with her beloved pet chihuahua. Yet actresses of her generation are still working — Diane Keaton, Meryl Streep, Susan Sarandon, Dame Helen Mirren and Dame Judi Dench, the latter of whom is now 81, to name yet a few. True, several of them have actually had subtle job done, yet I suspect that exactly what they possess — and Britt apparently doesn’t — is contentment along with their lot.

That’s the lesson I took residence from my surgeon last Thursday. 

Let’s see the royal rascal 

The third birthday pictures of Prince George — showing your man feeding ice-cream to his pooch, striding the grounds of his Amner Hall residence and playing on the swing — are just adorable.

His wardrobe is perfectly co-ordinated Boden, his hair neatly combed and parted, and all topped along with a happy smile.

But wouldn’t you simply love to see the out-takes of your man as a typical three-year-old — smeared in ice-cream, covered in mud while playing in the garden and throwing a tantrum once anyone gets within a yard of your man along with a comb in their hand?

Having been loved up for all of a month, James Bond wannabe Tom Hiddleston tells Taylor Swift she is ‘the kind of woman he wants to spend his life with’.

She is far richer and much more famous compared to he is — not to mention able to sustain your man constantly in the headlines — so why is anyone surprised?

Having been loved up for all of a month, Tom Hiddleston tells Taylor Swift she is 'the kind of woman he wants to spend his life with'

Having been loved up for all of a month, Tom Hiddleston tells Taylor Swift she is ‘the kind of woman he wants to spend his life with’

Bourne-again Matt? He’s worth the wait

When planning for his portion in the next Jason Bourne movie, Matt Damon was told by the director that to make the role convincing, he had to look like he’d experienced in the intervening years since he last appeared in the film series.

Nearly a decade on from The Bourne Ultimatum, the final film in the Bourne trilogy he starred in, I’d say Damon has actually experienced enough — he’s had hardly any memorable movies since.

Nonetheless, I’m a Jason Bourne addict and gagging to see your man slaughter the bad guys once again.

Rats to you, Bob

Onstage along with his band The Boomtown Rats, wearing a ‘stylish’ fake snakeskin suit, Bob Geldof ranted at the crowd for being attired in ‘wall- to-wall’ Primark.

For a man that once bestrode Wembley for Live Aid, performing in Essex ought to have actually been a humbling moment.

‘We are mega,’ he screamed, ‘and you are Brentwood.’

It’s time you left the stage, Bob. The only thing much more embarrassing compared to an ageing rock star is a failed ageing rock star.

Bob Geldof ranted at the crowd for being attired in 'wall- to-wall' Primark while wearing a 'stylish' fake snakeskin suit

Bob Geldof ranted at the crowd for being attired in ‘wall- to-wall’ Primark while wearing a ‘stylish’ fake snakeskin suit

Having suffered vitriolic abuse from racist Twitter trolls, BBC Breakfast presenter Naga Munchetty struck back.

One wrote: ‘one more s**t, weak and annoying ‘journalist’ employed for #PC reasons fairly compared to capability.’ To which she responded: ‘Thanks for that — exactly what a valuable contributor to Twitter you are.’ Naga, why reply to them, let alone read them?

After I appeared on The Andrew Marr prove to last week, friends informed me I’d had a ‘f*** off fat P***’ comment on social media.

When trolls are so stupid they can’t tell the difference between a Patel and a Platell, they don’t deserve a reply. And I’m not fat. 

Westminster wars

A good very first week for Prime Minister May, yet one lesson learned. Always take a hairdresser on foreign trips, ma’am, or you’ll end up looking like Donald Trump. That combover was a disaster, darling.

What a joke that Jeremy Corbyn surrounded themselves along with no fewer compared to ten female supporters walking to his leadership launch, given that only ten of his Shadow Cabinet are women and the only one anyone can easily even name is Diane Abbott. There’s only one party representing women today, and it’s led by a female Prime Minister.

During his final PMQs, David Cameron developed an image of themselves hugging Larry the cat to prove he loved your man and said it was much better that he stayed at No 10. The poor moggy is now in a terrible state: abandoned, his collar missing and limping on three paws after a fight. Larry ought to feel like Dave’s cronies who’ve been blocked from getting the gongs he promised them.

During his final PMQs, David Cameron showed a picture of himself hugging Larry the cat to prove he loved him

During his final PMQs, David Cameron showed an image of themselves hugging Larry the cat to prove he loved him

We all fell in love along with Patsy and Edina in the Ab Fab TV series, yet I’ll admit the only reason I went to see the movie was that I’d heard Kate Moss drowned in the Thames.

In fact, not only did she not drown, yet she emerged as a good sport in the film, as did Stella McCartney.

They’re two women I have actually consistently found it hard to feel sisterly towards.

Have they changed? Or was it that they were at the Bollinger like Patsy? After a bottle of Bolly, anything’s possible.

Some of the world’s most gorgeous women assembled on eco-warrior Leonardo DiCaprio’s yacht in Saint-Tropez to recommendations raise £34 million for his ecology foundation. Yet even the Riviera sunshine couldn’t raise a smile on the models’ faces.

Perhaps they were simply sick of being exploited by the Wolf Of Wall Street star, simply like the rest of us are.

In their case, their presence on board was to promote tawdry, lascivious DiCaprio’s ego. In our case it’s to swallow the myth the serial polluter, that loves to travel by jet, is the king of eco.

What do you do once you see a bunch of aggressive travellers heading for your village playing field about to set up camp again for the summer? As the lady pensioners of Weeley, Essex, magnificently demonstrated, you join hands or even lie down in the path of the intruders.

Middle England, we salute you.

Michael Caine says he wants to bring spine National Service to make men from today’s youngsters.

The actor fought in the Korean War, then went on to make his millions. ‘once you train to protect your country, you really belong to it,’ he said.

No lessons in patriotism, please, from a multi-millionaire actor that has actually spent several years of his life enjoying the tax benefits of living in Miami.

Michael Caine says he wants to bring back National Service to make men out of today's youngsters

Michael Caine says he wants to bring spine National Service to make men from today’s youngsters